Accept Him As He Is

There are reasons why you are attracted to someone. It may be his looks or his sense of humor or his intelligence. This person who attracts you may also have some traits you do not like. If you are planning to begin a relationship with the intention of changing this person once the two of you are a couple, you can forget it.

When you enter into a relationship with someone you accept him as he is. There really is no other alternative. Attempting to change another person is not likely to be successful and the process will make both of you miserable. There is also a very real possibility attempting to change another person will simply drive that person away.

When you are looking for someone to love you are hopefully looking at more than the outside shell of the person. You need to be drawn toward that other person because of something more important than his good looks.

Remember the old adage that you can’t judge a book by its cover. This guy may be the most handsome man you have ever seen and have a smile like an angel. This does not mean he has a good heart. An awesome beauty on the outside may be hiding a purely dark soul on the inside. Unfortunately, it is not unusual for beauty and evil to reside in the same body.

When you meet someone to whom you feel an attraction make a mental note of the things you like about him. If your list of positives is long enough you may want to pursue getting to know this person better.

The one important thing you do not want to do is go into a relationship thinking that the few things you may not like are things you can fix. If you are attracted to this person as he is you’re going to have to accept the few flaws along with the things you like about him. You also need to stop and consider that you are not perfect either. There are probably things about you that he does not like and would love to change. However, he is not likely to try and change the things he does not like because the rest of you is rather endearing to him.

It is women who tend to want to try and change men more so than the other way around. Men are not that interested in changing their women. The exception may be male agents who want to make changes for their models or actresses, but these are usually superficial changes.

The point is that when you meet someone who interests you accept him at face value. Don’t look at him and think of all the ways that you can mold him into your perfect man. This rarely works out. If you do accomplish your goal of changing your man it is very possible you will be the only one who is happy in the relationship. When men are forced to change against their will they are usually resentful and unhappy. This type of a relationship does not stand a very good chance of thriving, growing and enduring for a long time.