Your Teenage Daughter’s Boyfriend

Your teenage daughter is dating a young man she thinks is just wonderful.  She thinks everything he says or does is perfect.  You, on the other hand, are not pleased with her choice of a boyfriend.  You do not think he is a good influence on her.  What should you do?

You know you cannot win if you forbid your daughter to see her young man.  Every parent realizes that if you tell a teenager “no” it is like waving a red cape in front of a bull.  The teenager will consider your decree as a challenge to their maturity and independence and will probably look for ways to get around it.  You need to be careful how you address the situation.

You may have been able to avoid this conflict if you and your daughter had sat down and hashed out the rules for dating earlier.  These should be determined and understood before your daughter starts her dating life.  If your daughter understands the dating rules, and if the boyfriend does not fit into these rules, then she may not feel that you are picking on her new boyfriend.

Dating rules should include where and when she can see a boyfriend.  She should always need to introduce you to any new boyfriend.   There should be a curfew on how late she can talk on the telephone and use the computer.  These are simply a couple of basic common sense rules for dating.  Add any others that you feel are necessary.  Just be sure not to set forth too many rules.  If you are too strict your teenager is apt to be rebellious.

When you meet your daughter’s boyfriend try to be friendly and sincerely polite.  Try to spend time with him so you can get to know him.  If he is the kind of boy who tries to turn your daughter against her parents he will find it more difficult if you have been welcoming and friendly toward him.  He’ll have a hard time convincing your daughter that you don’t like him and are being mean to him.

You want to go over the household rules regarding dating with the boyfriend too.  If he is made aware of what the rules for your daughter’s dating are he will not be able to play games and pretend he does not know the rules.  Be casual and friendly when explaining your dating rules and be sure your daughter is present with the boyfriend.  It does not matter that she will appear to be mortified that you have brought up this subject.

Often teenage boys try to act tough and try to challenge authority.  If the boy realizes that you will not be manipulated and you are not afraid to address any challenges by talking with both the boy and your daughter, then the boy is apt to either back down and follow the rules or become bored and move on to find a girl who does not have parents who are so involved in her life.

Parents worry about the people who are hanging out with their children.  If your daughter’s boyfriend seems like someone who can cause trouble it can be a huge problem for you.  How you handle it can be the difference between your daughter defying you and ignoring the rules set forth for her safety and your daughter seeing the light and seeing her boyfriend for who he really is.

If you daughter has a boyfriend and you don’t know anything about him you might want to check him out online.  If you want to check more you might consider doing a background check on a site such as BeenVerified.  Checking out your daughter’s boyfriend may give you some peace of mind.