The Green-Eyed Monster – Jealousy

The one main reason for jealousy is insecurity.  The person who is experiencing jealousy may feel that they are not good enough for their partner. This insecure person feels that their partner cannot possibly love them as much as they love the partner.

Once you have convinced yourself that you are unworthy of your partner’s love it becomes easy to think that everyone with whom your partner has a conversation is a threat to your relationship.  You will start to suspect that every time your partner goes somewhere without you,  they are seeing someone else. Feeling jealous and suspecting your partner is going to affect the way you act.   Eventually you may start making accusations to your partner that he or she is being unfaithful to you.

In the beginning your partner may put up with this nonsense, but they will become sick of your unfounded accusations. When they are unable to persuade you that they love you and are not seeing someone else they may decide they have no choice but to leave.  If this happens, you have driven away your partner with your jealousy.  Sadly, the entire situation has been created because of your own insecurity.  You and your unfounded jealousy have caused the breakup.  In some cases the partner may decide that since he or she is being accused continually of being unfaithful they may as well go ahead and cheat.

Before you completely ruin your relationship, there are some steps you can take to rid yourself of the green-eyed monster known as jealousy.  You want to look at your life and find the cause of your insecurity.    Your lack of self-worth and self-esteem may come from being cheated on in a prior relationship or it may come from a deep-rooted childhood experience.

There are some very good relationship books which may help you overcome your problems and may help you start on the road to recovery.  If you can recognize your problem and understand why you have this feeling of jealousy then you and your partner may be able to work through your problem.  Talk with your partner and explain your inner fears and the reason for them (if you know the reason).

Seeking some professional counseling may be the best way for you to get to the root of your problem and change your way of thinking permanently.  For deeply rooted problems you may need expert professional help.

The worst thing you can do is to ignore your jealousy problem.  It is not going to go away by itself.  In fact, the problem usually will get worse.

You need to learn to conquer and control your inner demons.  Once you learn to develop confidence you can feel that you deserve to be loved.  You can feel that your partner is lucky to be with you and loves you as much as you love them.  When this finally occurs, you will not feel jealous every time your partner talks with someone else or goes somewhere without you.  You will be able to enjoy in a strong, healthy, trusting relationship with your partner.