When You Break Up

Sometimes in a relationship it becomes necessary to break up.  One party or the other realizes being together is not working and no longer wants to continue as a couple.

When you decide to break up with your significant other do so in person.  Make sure you break up in private.  This is not something that should be done in a public place or with other people present.

You should not break up with your partner over the telephone or by sending a text message or a posting on social media.  If you break up face to face with your partner you will not only feel more respect for yourself, but your partner will have more respect for you too, although he or she probably will not like the fact that you’ve decided to end the relationship.

Of course, if your partner tends to be violent this advice will not apply to your situation.  In that case, stay safe and handle the break up over the phone.

Plan in advance what you want to say.  You made this decision for a reason so stand your ground.  It is going to hurt your partner no matter whether you try to let him or her down easy or not.   So, try to clearly and calmly state your reasons why you feel this break up is necessary.

You will probably want to find a way to end the relationship as gently, but as firmly, as possible.


After the break up is done do not call the other person and do not take his or her phone calls.  Chatting with your former partner can only give him or her false hope.  This will keep the hurt fresh longer.

Even when you are the person initiating a break up you are going to feel a sense of loss too.  Avoid going to places where the two of you went since you may accidently bump into your former partner.  Then he or she may think you have come to this particular place in hopes of seeing them and getting back together.

If the break up did not occur because you have found someone new, now is not the time to jump into a new relationship.  Allow yourself time before you start dating again.  It may take six months until you feel ready to start dating.  It may sound strange, but even if you are the one who initiated the break up you can still be vulnerable to a rebound relationship. In the meantime take on some new challenges.  Perhaps now is the time to consider a new job, or going back to school, or pursuing a hobby or interest you have put on the back burner.  Enjoy an active social life with your family and friends.

Don’t give up on love. Just take your time before you engage in a new relationship.  You should be a little wiser since your break up.  You probably are more aware of what you really want in a partner.

A break up is tough no matter which side of the break up you are on.